All glory….

So, in my blogging hiatus, I’ve accomplished things, did stuff, and learned that the world is both a freak bin and an amazing place.

First off this exists:

On the left is an albino shark one-eyed baby. Its mother was accidentally caught by fishermen and died before they could free it šŸ˜„Ā  BUT they noticed it was pregnant and hoped to save some of the baby sharks and found THIS GUY!

It looks like my dreams of the world actually being invaded by cute little alien creatures in search of love, family and use of military mantra turned cuteness (Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind)- Might be a possibility! Okay, anyone who wishes to point out that in Lilo and Stitch there were creatures there for world domination…it seems that every species would have its power hungry leaders and the good of the world will….you get it.

I’ve always wanted to go scuba diving. The idea of getting swallowed whole by a whale?! Not so much. I’ve always accepted that sharks are an active risk…followed by havingĀ  a ‘batman scenario moment’ (For those of you unaware….a batman scenario is where you come up with a solid game plan of what you would do if the worst case scenario were to happen, while being a total badass). My batmanĀ  scenario would entail beating the crap out of the shark, possibly escaping somewhat maimed (or barely scaved) being the bad-ass who saved her own life. OR worst case scenario it’s death by shark, which at least isn’t a boring way to go. But being swallowed whole by a stupid whale who mistook you for being krill? That’s just sad yo….

Most F*d up discovery of the week goes to this chick:

Hmmm…what is that she’s eating? Initially, I thought the powder she’s dipping into every five seconds, and seemingly enjoying, had to be 1. Cocaine (that woman has an impressive stash) 2.Pixie stix….who the hell wouldn’t love a big ol’ box of sugar wonderfulness? Or since this is from a show called “My Strange Addiction” 3. Something like baking powder she’s eating outright.

NONE OF THE ABOVE! See those lovely pictures posted to her headboard? Those would be of her and her husband…her recently deceased husband. When she started talking about her husband recently passing away and her overwhelming grief, I was empathetic to her loss but then had a moment straight out of Se7en…. ‘WHAT’S IN THE BOX???!????

If you haven’t put two and two together yet….it was her husband’s ASHES she was dipping into like a mother f*cking fun-dip! YUMMM nothing like honoring his respects by eating his remains.

Ok..ok… like my professor pointed out on facebook..there are cultures that mourn their dead by eating remains. Yes, hard to digest (tehehe)Ā  but I get it…there are beliefs of their soul living on with them blah blah blah… but this wasn’t a culturally ordained mourning process….this was a rather heavy set woman going to town on her husband’s ashes. BLAH!

Oh…did I mention she realized she had a problem when HALF of his ashes had been devoured…now she’s seeking help O.oĀ  … make sure I get this straight, you don’t seek help when you think cracking open that box and trying it like you’re taste testing some columbian blow would be a good idea, but when HALF is gone. Sorry hun but I don’t think even Freud could rationalize that shit!

In other news…I managed to complete the first portion of my thesis (yay free time!) and it’s either my brain not being occupied enough during the day or I’m being drugged. I have had the most freakishly out there dreams lately. I’m expecting to find hypnotoad under my bed someday soon because that seems to be the only logical explanation at this point


Oh look he’s teething!…

Out of the superb breed of boredom that I am currently trying to cope with I have decided to visit one of my favorite topics…zombie apocalypse.

Top three places I would avoid:

3. Daycare. Anyone who has taken care of the wee little ones has probably come across the stage where they begin to develop teeth and will teeth on anything….zombie toddlers- the uncoordination, speed, endless urge to gnaw….::shudders::

2. Carnivals. I know this seems counter-intuitive as I listed a themepark as one of my idea apocalypse hangouts [below] but…in a theme park there might be clown? Carnivals are full of ’em. I can’t handle clowns, furries, or pretty much anything else in full costume. Zombie thank you.

1. Pot (420) smokeout. Ok don’t get your zig-zags in a bunch, it’s nothing personal. It’s just the frightening idea of some 500 people who currently are plagued with the munchies also being infected by some sort of flesh-craving contagion. Once you have a taste for brains, no amount of Funyuns or Cheetos I throw at you (or lucky charms for that matter) will alleviate that urge.

Top three places I would go:

3. The theme park from Zombieland….Ok, so possibly the whole entire journey, assuming I could spend time with Woody Harrelson (Tallahassee) in his epic quest for Twinkies. Promptly followed by several uninterrupted hours of rollercoaster rides then a brutal zombie beat down of epic proportions. Safest idea? Not entirely but cotton candy makes up for that.

2. Dante’s basement. He’s earthly, cultured, and has plenty of *ahem* entertainment. Look if it’s a zombie-eat-brain world out there, what else are you going to do?

1. The Winchester. Yup, Shawn had it right, despite his addiction of beer and bar snacks, his mind was in the right place. Add some plywood and enough food to hold you over, I’d definitely go there.

Mirror mirror on the what?

Time for some reflection. I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that it is going to be 2012 in less than three weeks. This year for me has been crazy busy. I mean crazy…crazy busy.

Year in review: car accident happened [head trauma], boyfriend at the time moved in during my cognitive absence (when did that get there?)…took my parents to see Blue Man Group in Chicago (awesomeness), donated bone marrow to a woman I don’t know via stem cells [had a central line placed] two days later was in the mosh pit at Avalanche Tour (Halestorm, Stone Sour), went to Rock the Ranch, school started, changed jobs, got rid of the boyfriend [hurray freedom!], met some awesome people, saw Five Finger Death Punch at the Rave, dressed like a zombie for halloween [Fx makeup is flippin’ amazing], was taken to see Halestorm, and voila I’m magically here *looks around* no, still here.

This year has been crazy progress on my end. Beginning of the year I had bad head trauma, couldn’t remember words, etc [fun stuff], now I’m back -almost- to baseline. I developed then gotĀ  over a severe fear of driving *hurray!* and finally got it through my head to have standards for the geniuses I surround myself with O.o

I laugh more often, tend to think I learn more, and realize that some things aren’t as vital as we seem to make them appear (hanging out with friends and making memories are far more important than the difference between an ‘A’ and an A- on a freaking paper people!)

I’m happy to say if all goes as plans I will be done with Parkside come May. I can definitely do without the theory, ridiculous amount of homework, etc. I still plan to get my RN directly after, but at least nursing isn’t a bunch of theoretical BS. Don’t get me wrong, I love my psychological and sociological theoretical bullsh*t….but enough is enough.

The highlight of my year, has to be all the amazing people I’ve met and the people with whom I’ve reconnected. I love being around others and you’ve made my year one to remember…that and fate, but I think karma has dished out its worse, so I thank my friends for the comedic relief.

On to new horizons

Entry numero uno. This is pretty much a page, a concept in continuation of a previous effort. I used to be into the whole web page making nonsense back in the day- loving the fact that thousands could be reading my words blah, blah, blah. I figured I could always use some sort of medium to spit out the random bits of info I collect throughout the day. Ta-da.