Oh look he’s teething!…

Out of the superb breed of boredom that I am currently trying to cope with I have decided to visit one of my favorite topics…zombie apocalypse.


Top three places I would avoid:


3. Daycare. Anyone who has taken care of the wee little ones has probably come across the stage where they begin to develop teeth and will teeth on anything….zombie toddlers- the uncoordination, speed, endless urge to gnaw….::shudders::




2. Carnivals. I know this seems counter-intuitive as I listed a themepark as one of my idea apocalypse hangouts [below] but…in a theme park there might be what..one clown? Carnivals are full of ’em. I can’t handle clowns, furries, or pretty much anything else in full costume. Zombie clowns..no thank you.




1. Pot (420) smokeout. Ok don’t get your zig-zags in a bunch, it’s nothing personal. It’s just the frightening idea of some 500 people who currently are plagued with the munchies also being infected by some sort of flesh-craving contagion. Once you have a taste for brains, no amount of Funyuns or Cheetos I throw at you (or lucky charms for that matter) will alleviate that urge.




Top three places I would go:


3. The theme park from Zombieland….Ok, so possibly the whole entire journey, assuming I could spend time with Woody Harrelson (Tallahassee) in his epic quest for Twinkies. Promptly followed by several uninterrupted hours of rollercoaster rides then a brutal zombie beat down of epic proportions. Safest idea? Not entirely but cotton candy makes up for that.




2. Dante’s basement. He’s earthly, cultured, and has plenty of *ahem* entertainment. Look if it’s a zombie-eat-brain world out there, what else are you going to do?




1. The Winchester. Yup, Shawn had it right, despite his addiction of beer and bar snacks, his mind was in the right place. Add some plywood and enough food to hold you over, I’d definitely go there.