All glory….

So, in my blogging hiatus, I’ve accomplished things, did stuff, and learned that the world is both a freak bin and an amazing place.

First off this exists:

On the left is an albino shark one-eyed baby. Its mother was accidentally caught by fishermen and died before they could free it šŸ˜„Ā  BUT they noticed it was pregnant and hoped to save some of the baby sharks and found THIS GUY!

It looks like my dreams of the world actually being invaded by cute little alien creatures in search of love, family and use of military mantra turned cuteness (Ohana means family, family means nobody gets left behind)- Might be a possibility! Okay, anyone who wishes to point out that in Lilo and Stitch there were creatures there for world domination…it seems that every species would have its power hungry leaders and the good of the world will….you get it.

I’ve always wanted to go scuba diving. The idea of getting swallowed whole by a whale?! Not so much. I’ve always accepted that sharks are an active risk…followed by havingĀ  a ‘batman scenario moment’ (For those of you unaware….a batman scenario is where you come up with a solid game plan of what you would do if the worst case scenario were to happen, while being a total badass). My batmanĀ  scenario would entail beating the crap out of the shark, possibly escaping somewhat maimed (or barely scaved) being the bad-ass who saved her own life. OR worst case scenario it’s death by shark, which at least isn’t a boring way to go. But being swallowed whole by a stupid whale who mistook you for being krill? That’s just sad yo….

Most F*d up discovery of the week goes to this chick:

Hmmm…what is that she’s eating? Initially, I thought the powder she’s dipping into every five seconds, and seemingly enjoying, had to be 1. Cocaine (that woman has an impressive stash) 2.Pixie stix….who the hell wouldn’t love a big ol’ box of sugar wonderfulness? Or since this is from a show called “My Strange Addiction” 3. Something like baking powder she’s eating outright.

NONE OF THE ABOVE! See those lovely pictures posted to her headboard? Those would be of her and her husband…her recently deceased husband. When she started talking about her husband recently passing away and her overwhelming grief, I was empathetic to her loss but then had a moment straight out of Se7en…. ‘WHAT’S IN THE BOX???!????

If you haven’t put two and two together yet….it was her husband’s ASHES she was dipping into like a mother f*cking fun-dip! YUMMM nothing like honoring his respects by eating his remains.

Ok..ok… like my professor pointed out on facebook..there are cultures that mourn their dead by eating remains. Yes, hard to digest (tehehe)Ā  but I get it…there are beliefs of their soul living on with them blah blah blah… but this wasn’t a culturally ordained mourning process….this was a rather heavy set woman going to town on her husband’s ashes. BLAH!

Oh…did I mention she realized she had a problem when HALF of his ashes had been devoured…now she’s seeking help O.oĀ  … make sure I get this straight, you don’t seek help when you think cracking open that box and trying it like you’re taste testing some columbian blow would be a good idea, but when HALF is gone. Sorry hun but I don’t think even Freud could rationalize that shit!

In other news…I managed to complete the first portion of my thesis (yay free time!) and it’s either my brain not being occupied enough during the day or I’m being drugged. I have had the most freakishly out there dreams lately. I’m expecting to find hypnotoad under my bed someday soon because that seems to be the only logical explanation at this point